When Sadie and Sam run into each other at a train station during their student days it rekindles a childhood friendship that went sour. Working through past hurt, they reconcile and spend their summer making a game, Ichigo, which proves a huge success. They wouldn’t have been able to do it without the support of Sam’s kind flatmate Marx and Sadie’s toxic ex-teacher and lover Dov, whose engine they need to power their vision. This is a book about games, friendship, and growing up. It’s about our dreams and whether the world will let us achieve them, the draw of the infinite rebirth possible in video games, and how you cope with tragedy in the real world where there are no do-overs.
From the beginning you feel safe in Zevin’s very capable hands. This is not a simple story, the narrative jumps around, both in time and between the real world and the game world, and it deals with some heavy issues, but it is all handled expertly. Sadie is talented but sensitive, well aware of how women are viewed in the game world, of the perception that it must have been Sam that did the hard work on Ichigo. It doesn’t help that Sam, although generally a bit awkward, really shines while they are out promoting the game, while Sadie doesn’t have that natural flair. As time passes and they begin to work on other games she does not cope well with criticism, and reframes activity depending on whether it’s her or Sam doing it. When she’s out promoting games she feels it as hard work, when Sam is gone for long stretches doing the same she feels abandoned, as if he were simply on a holiday.
Their relationship has history with falling out. They meet as children while Sam is in hospital recovering from a serious car crash and Sadie is visiting her sister who is undergoing treatment for cancer. They bond over their shared love of gaming, and the staff ask her to keep coming to play with him as she’s the only one he’s spoken to for weeks. When he realises this, that she was claiming the time as volunteer hours, he is naturally hurt and they don’t speak for years. We see in snippets of interviews that this won’t be the only time they fall out, and as the novel progresses we see this play out. Sadie grows tired with how much work she perceives being friends with Sam to be, and his innate desire to hide his suffering means that when she spirals, reframing everything that’s happened when she realises that Sam sent her back to Dov knowing they’d been lovers, believing he put his own ambition ahead of her well-being, he hasn’t shown enough of himself for her to understand why he’s become largely absent from the office. At times their friendship is incredibly frustrating, you just want them to talk to each other, to explain how they’re feeling, but it is realistically drawn. Friendships, especially in young adulthood, can be tumultuous, and their lack of emotional maturity is relatable.
Marx is the stabilising force in their life. He perhaps doesn’t do enough to try and rectify their rifts, or to help Sadie when they can both see that her relationship with Dov has become unhealthy, but he always tries to look out for both of them, to listen to where they’re coming from and to gently encourage them back together. He believes in their work and commits to it, letting some of his other dreams go along the way. Some have criticised him as a character for being almost too perfect a human being, but he is likeable, considerate, and understanding, the kind of person we’d all like in our corner.
Sam has been through a lot of trauma in his life, and continues to suffer with the pain his injured foot causes, always having to be careful with where and how far he walks. In Sadie he finds someone that understands him, a true collaborator and friend. They love each other, even if he won’t say it, but not in a romantic way. Romance is something they have considered, but Sadie concludes that finding a true collaborator is far rarer than finding a lover, and so wants to protect that aspect of their relationship. When she finds romantic love elsewhere Sam realises that he’s lost her, even though he never tried to have her, that part of her is gone. It’s a difficult moment for him to overcome. Despite the fact she often freezes him out, he does persist, always looking out for her, ready when she wants him to be there.
The team work to make good games, and once they’re in a position to, to support new designers to create great games too. They understand the potential for making a better world than the one they’re living in. Mapleworld, a MMORPG, becomes hugely successful for them, and Sam becomes something of a star, having created an avatar for himself as the mayor of the town. They consciously decide to create a kinder, more inclusive world, for example, by making same-sex marriage possible while in America at the time it is illegal in some states. Zevin explores the power of games for making people feel welcome, but also the dark side, the outspoken opponents of such actions, and the tragic real-world consequences. We see how people become radicalised and carry out crimes without really understanding what they’re doing or what it is they’re protesting against. There is one particular standout moment where this becomes central, and it is handled thoughtfully and is very well done, but throughout Zevin weaves in real-world events, placing the novel in a very specific time and place, and considering the impacts these events had on creative outputs and the responses they garnered from audiences.
A wonderful read, whether you’re a gamer or not (I’m not and it didn’t diminish my enjoyment of the novel at all. If anything, it gave me a greater appreciation of what goes into creating games). Thoughtful, well plotted, and realistic, Zevin incorporates so many topics for deeper thought without making the novel feel heavy. The final quarter is an emotional read, and also includes a section of in-game narrative, allowing the characters to talk to each other when they’re not outside of the game. Sometimes narrative structures that jump around in time and place can make books more challenging to read and become absorbed in, but Zevin introduces snippets of information to either give you a boost in interest in what’s coming, or to fill in the gaps you’ve been intrigued by. It is done naturally and enhances the experience. A brilliant exploration of friendship, of growing up, and of living through the dawn of technology we now take for granted. There are so many references to other art forms and influences, it reminds you that games are works of art. This was a book that I kept thinking about between sessions, and which I wanted to get back to constantly.
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