The Cyber Effect, Mary Aiken

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It’s not uncommon to hear about people attempt a digital detox, to disconnect from technology and re-connect with the physical world around us. Many have a sense of unease about the prevalence of tech in our lives and what it means for the future of humanity, but how is it, and specifically the internet, impacting how we behave and interact? Forensic cyberpsychologist Dr. Mary Aiken guides us through how it normalises deviant behaviours, changes our children’s brains, and impacts how we find and maintain love. Published in 2016, thinking has moved on to a certain degree, technology has become even more integrated in our lives, but this remains an important, fascinating read.

Perhaps most compelling are Dr. Aiken’s chapters on babies through to teens. She talks about how parents will often ask about when it’s OK to introduce screens to their infants but almost never ask about how their own screen use impacts their baby’s development and their relationship with them. Her conclusion is that older family members being glued to their phones has huge impacts on their development. A parent staring at their phone while they feed their baby might feel like a natural multi-tasking activity, but it means the amount of eye contact the baby receives is drastically less than previous generations. Missing out on this attachment forming necessity can impact how they function in relationships for the rest of their lives. It’s not just our smartphones, having screens on in the home reduces physical interaction and play with family members which is fundamental to learning and development. Even as the child grows, Aiken explains how they come to see their parents’ smartphones as competition - studies have shown the disappointment they feel when they see their parents waiting at the school gate using their phones. Again, they crave that eye contact and attention.

As to when they should be given their own tech? It’s recommended that there be no screen time before the age of two. Before this time they can’t understand what the screen is showing them and won’t benefit from apps and videos designed to be educational. It can negatively impact their language development, sense of object permanence, and their eyesight, which develops quickly at this age. Teachers increasingly report that 5-6 year olds arrive at school with the communication skills of a 2-3 year old. Aiken reminds us that correlation does not equal causation but strongly suggests that in these instances they may well.

Children who have never been given time to be bored, having devices placed in front of them constantly, naturally grow into teenagers who are not only very comfortable with tech but already quite addicted. Aiken marvels at the blasé attitude to allowing young people free reign of the internet when we know it’s all too easy to stumble into very dark places. She acknowledges that smart phones have made it much more difficult to monitor online behaviour than when a family computer was being used in a communal area of the home. She flags the lack of concern of social media companies who have access to huge amounts of information about all users but claim not to be able to ascertain if a user is underage. Recent announcements of child-friendly versions of apps for users whose age hasn’t been verified would likely be welcomed.

Aiken does not write with judgment of parents using technology to make an already difficult job feel a little easier but acknowledges how susceptible fully developed adult brains are to the addictive tech we carry with us everywhere, let alone those still trying to find their place in the world. The problem, she states, is that you can’t go cold turkey with tech, so integral has it become to our lives, but we must all strive to create healthy habits around it. It doesn’t have to be inevitable that the internet is a place of exploitation and hate. Moderation by those controlling services go a long way. The internet opens up the world and helps people connect where they might otherwise feel alone, yet we willingly give up our privacy and attention for something whose dark side is incredibly bleak. Despite the sometimes alarmist messaging, this doesn’t feel like a book of despair. Aiken offers studies and facts which can help readers decide what role tech plays in their life and re-consider what we sacrifice for convenience.

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The Science of Storytelling, Will Storr

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Storr’s fascinating book is a mix of writing craft and psychology. He goes methodically through the different aspects of narrative from world-building to character, explaining how our minds construct images and how best we can write to support this. Storr discusses the different techniques used to grip you, how most stories are about something changing, and how an author can manipulate our emotions in the way they present information to us. He uses examples from well loved stories and films to illustrate his arguments, as well as referencing scientific studies.

This is a fascinating book that will make you want to pick up a pen and play with some of the ideas discussed. It is interesting in getting to know how we all manipulate our own memories to paint ourselves in the light that we wish to be seen. We are reminded also that both the hero and the villain in any story believes completely that their world view is correct and that this justifies their actions, however misguided. Moral outrage proves to be a powerful way to engage a reader. Studies have shown both how we find it hard to empathise with those who we perceive to be more successful than ourselves, but also that people enjoy seeing people who do bad things to good people get punished for it. We are ultimately moral creatures, so long as that morality doesn’t interfere with our own sense of ourselves.

Storr uses examples that demonstrate how people’s ‘fatal flaw’ can drive an entire story, but also shows how the way a story is presented can determine how we feel about events. A standout example of this is Lolita. As Storr points out, we start the novel knowing that Humbert is being punished which takes away some of our outrage. We then see Lolita through his eyes, meaning that we see her through his twisted gaze, thinking badly of her for her behaviour, when of course she is the victim. Another story that does this brilliantly is Rebecca, where the narrator draws the reader in to such an extent that you want the protagonist to succeed in helping her husband get away with a serious crime. This causes a moral dilemma, but a skilled writer is able to use our psychology against us and bend us to their will.

A brilliant book for those who are interested in human psychology and the way our brains interact with stories, but also wonderful to inspire budding writers. This is not your average craft book, but it offers plenty of insight that will make you a stronger writer. Knowing how the brain works, what motivates us and causes us to care, helps to create characters and scenarios that will bring out those emotions in the reader. This is backed up by the nitty-gritty of exactly how writing does this - why show don’t tell works, and how we can draw a reader in more successfully with a well thought out series of words. I borrowed this book from the library but am tempted to buy a copy as there’s so much to go over again, to focus the mind for writing exercises. The appendix also walks you through a system of creating a successful story based around the ‘fatal flaw’, but other parts of the book read more easily precisely because they aren’t instructional in so straightforward a way.

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Time Warped: Unlocking the Mysteries of Time Perception, Claudia Hammond

Hammond’s accessible pop-psychology book forces the reader to think about time differently. We’ve all experienced the sensation that time goes faster when we’re having fun and slows down when bored but this book will have you questioning how you visualise time, what external factors help us to estimate the passage of time, and how you’d react in some of the experiments detailed. It’s an excellent combination of anecdotal evidence and summaries of psychological experiments carried out over the years. At times a tad repetitive it will nonetheless have you pondering questions you’ve never thought of before.

There’s tales of couples becoming engaged on a first date, researchers living in isolation in a dark cave for months to see how well they can still estimate time, and those who try so hard to document their entire lives that you can’t help but think they’re missing out on really living. One recurring question is why does time seem to speed up as we age. Hammond dispels some common theories and demonstrates how it is a combination of factors. She talks of the reminiscence bump, usually in our late teens and early twenties when we are forming our identities. The memories from this period are strongest, meaning they are able to reinforce that identity. The creation of new memories makes time feel fast while you're living it but when we look back feels far more expansive. The more routine our lives become the quicker it seems to pass in retrospect as we have less defining moments.

A thoroughly fascinating book that’s easy to read and even comes with a self-help section of sorts in the final chapters offering advice on how to adjust your approach to time to feel as though you’ve lived a full life and not fall into the common misconception that you’ll have more time in the future.

Rebecca, Daphne du Maurier

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Du Maurier’s most popular novel is narrated by the unnamed second wife of Maxim de Winter, broody owner of Manderley, his ancestral home. It is so vividly described and central to the novel that it almost becomes a character in its own right. The couple meet in the South of France les than a year after the death of his first wife, Rebecca. Even during the proposal he expresses no love for the timid narrator and she naively accepts, thinking she is freeing herself from her servitude of companion to Mrs Van Hopper but condemning herself to a passionless marriage and a similar subservient companionship.

On their return to Manderley she struggles with the ghost of Rebecca whose beauty and talents were beloved of almost all. Mrs Danvers, the housekeeper, was particularly devoted to her and frightens the new Mrs de Winter, ensuring that she always feels inferior. In the final quarter of the novel a revelation gives the young bride hope of happiness only for it quickly to be torn away in the dramatic conclusion.

Despite only appearing in memory and imagination it is Rebecca that endures for the reader. The narrator becomes exasperating with her endless doubts and unwillingness to assert any authority. The secret that releases her from her jealousy and inferiority does not paint her in a positive light and she seems selfish in her obsession with being freed from Rebecca’s presence. In saying that, the reader has become so entangled in her narrative that you can’t help but hope events unfold as she wishes, making you question your morals.

The novel dissects the role of women and the expectations of femininity, something which it is said du Maurier struggled with herself. She was shy and did not enjoy entertaining and yet Rebecca also reflects aspects of her creator’s personality in her sexual liberation and aptitude at sailing. The fact she makes Rebecca the stronger, more memorable character may hint at where she felt her true self lay.

This atmospheric novel examines the complex jealousy of a second wife, a topic not often discussed in fiction. We feel so vividly the presence of Rebecca as we walk in the footsteps of the paranoid narrator. Du Maurier successfully created a sense of place so believable we feel as though we have wandered its corridors and explored the gardens. The claustrophobia felt by the narrator is palpable and makes for a disturbing read. 

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